He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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