my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
