You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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