We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
