i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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