How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
