You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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