we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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