If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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