your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
