You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize