i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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