is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
