no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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