remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
