dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
