It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
