Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
