You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
