their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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