Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
