she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
