Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
