he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize