Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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