Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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