Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
