So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
