I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
