fuck your aforementioned shoe
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He better not be in your backpack
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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