So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need a beard to bite.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
