How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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