Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
