I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
