When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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