WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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