my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
