I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
