is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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