I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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