I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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