his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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