It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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