One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
