I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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