So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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