Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
