it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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