hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
