I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
