is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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