don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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