just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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