Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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