i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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