do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
