he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
