none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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