Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
