I love black thongs
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
