I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
