This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
