Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
