So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
